the sinner in me
2009 Resolutions
Keep studying
Be a great boyfriend, and a good son
Be more all-rounded
Stop shrinking and start growing again
Be able to answer to myself
My Second Wind
I fear stagnation and lack of progress. I fear never reaching my potential and being average. I fear being forgotten. The past. Yesterday's news. I fear giving up and being passed by, going softly into that good night. I fear letting those I love down, letting myself down. I fear settling, giving in to the "that's just the way it is" mindset. I fear dying without leaving my mark. I fear not feeling these fears anymore and just floating along. These fears feed me, they nourish my drive.
I love my fear.
the fallen saint left at 10:47 pm
christmas is coming, and with it the new year.
the fallen saint left at 10:56 am i got really wired up last night at work, and was stupid enough to do something reckless which caused my hand to bleed.
the fallen saint left at 10:39 am
so listen up. i know the content of my blog tends to revolve around my thoughts and occasionally, some events in my life. to some it may come across that i'm rather self-centred due to the things that i write about, but if you would just take a moment to consider this - it is my blog.
the fallen saint left at 1:18 am
went out with pris after work last night and had a nice chat at starbucks. she was coughing so much that passers-by probably thought she was dying for a fag, haha.
the fallen saint left at 11:35 pm
at the library with adel this evening after dinner to look for some books. when i texted mom to tell her i didn't need takeaway and that i was at the library, it struck me that if in future my kid (if ever i have any, or find someone to have any with) told me he or she would be at the library on his or her own accord, i'd be so proud as a parent.
the fallen saint left at 9:44 pm
me: i'll have the fillet fantastique.
the fallen saint left at 4:49 pm
met up with the clique and my primary 6 form teacher this evening. had a bowl of a time, though i felt there were some awkward moments; it's good to catch up with them and find out what they're doing nevertheless. it's amazing sometimes, how diverse our paths can be.
the fallen saint left at 12:51 am
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
apple crumble 27122006
adel and i got together to bake apple crumble today. you could say it was a belated christmas affair. and i never knew granny smith apples were so expensive! in case you were wondering, we didn't add malibu rum to the apples; the malibu was for our drinks while we were waiting for the oven to do its job.
having a generous serving of vanilla ice cream with the apple crumble proved to be a good suggestion by adel, but then again, good ice cream will weaken most people's resolve. i'm just a little sore that cold storage doesn't accept payment by credit cards. now my bank account is teetering on a cliff's edge.
to digress a bit, i can't wait for my pay to register in my bank account. life will get very interesting when the day comes. haha.
oh and i gave dionne a couple of slices of the apple crumble. thank goodness she took to it well, i wouldn't know what to do if she didn't like it. go easy on the newbie! i believe the picture will speak for itself (:
Saturday, December 23, 2006
brainstorm
yes yes, merry christmas and a happy new year to each and every one of you who still come to my blog after all my irrelevant and annoying rants. but ever since last year, the new year has ceased to be about countdown parties and all that juvenile ecstasy. it's about taking steps to improve myself year by year, and if it hasn't dawned on you yet, it's about new year resolutions.
you probably think i'd be the last person you know to believe in such things, but ever since i made public my resolutions for 2006, i've managed a decent 5 of 11 success rate - so far. so it's going to be time for me to come up with new resolutions soon.
in the meantime, you can laugh all you want at my expense.. if you find it remotely ticklish.
work detachment
note to self: never let work get to you.
i took up this job and i should take everything in my stride; good and bad, since every job has its pits and highs. you never appreciate the nice customers until the rotten ones come along to really ruin a hitherto perfect day. then again, it would be naive to seek a perfect day at work in which there would be no bullish customers. it's fair to say that singaporeans as consumers can be really picky about everything, but it's worth noting that sometimes, our service industry is woefully lacking too. if everyone was willing to do their best at their job.. shut up idealism.
i came home feeling rather jaded, and thinking about how i should approach the customers in future; should i be nice and waive off all those miscellaneous fees for everyone, or simply say no to every single request of such kind? i hate it that everytime a customer proverbially bangs the table, our company will invariably give in. i can't change an organization - certainly not from my current position - but i don't want to be a spineless punching bag either. i haven't quite reached a decision, hopefully before i go back to work tomorrow i will.
submission was never an option.
Friday, December 22, 2006
look here
am i supposed to write about everyone but myself? if i wanted to discuss world news i'd be writing in a newspaper column instead. the concept of humility is not unfamiliar to me, but please do not exaggerate it. i try to be diplomatic and i don't want to bear grudges against anyone. yes every now and then some anonymous trolls will come by and leave nasty remarks, to which i find rather humorous because what they write is really demeaning to their selves. i could do with a bit of spark in my life from time to time, haha.
but like all consumers, you have a choice of whether you want to read my blog, hence i don't understand why you're still reading these words if you find me offensive or repulsive.
the bottomline is (i'm amazed you're still reading), i don't aim to please everyone. go find something which tickles your fancy if this isn't your cup of tea; i am not your feedback box.
Sunday, December 17, 2006
christmas is near!
i'm quite convinced that if she had some red dangly earrings or other red accessories, she'd really fit into the christmas theme perfectly. (:
bumped into some ex-school mates from my high school, and it seems like i'm still being remembered for the wrong reason. at least this reason isn't as bad as the junior college one, but nonetheless..
so this was from pris' camera, taken before we got on the bus home. you should always look before you take your seat beside someone on public transport in future, girl. lol.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
that's what you think
minutes later, i saw that there were children surfing friendster on the free internet terminals inside the library.
Saturday, December 09, 2006
just commenting
waitress: the done-ness of your steak, sir?
me: (quizzical) medium-rare, thank you.
i may not speak for everyone, but i always try to do my job well, whatever it may be; being half-good at something just doesn't cut it for me. it's a personal thing, so don't start feeling down about yourself if you suck at your job.
having just recently joined the service industry myself, i know how hard it is to be well-rounded in terms of attending to customers' requests and queries. but hey, no one will ever blame you for trying to be good at what you do, right?
i know, too, that there are people who are satisfied with doing the bare minimum, as long as they can get by. i guess that's fine if you live in a world where you don't really have aspirations, and there isn't any considerable competition in a country mile from where you are, but i think if you're working in a well-publicised restaurant then you should constantly try to improve your service standard. especially so, if this country wants to make itself famous for its human resources, because, to be brutally honest, that's all the resources we really have.
if we can't be good at a multitude of things, at the very least be good at something. personally, 'finding a niche' and 'finding something that one is good at' are cheap excuses for organisations and people who indulge in escapism. i admit i'm often like that, but every time i realise it i try to change.
a stupid person will never be blamed for anything, but every able person with a lack of ambition deserves to be scolded, simply because they can be so much more.
Monday, December 04, 2006
like little kids
max brenner's was okay. i think it was the company (friends, not corporate organization) that made it enjoyable.
and mrs sajir doesn't appear to have aged a bit. i actually feel old beside her, haha. reliving the memories of 6A'98 (: